Addiction withdrawls...

The plan: Last year I decided I need to do a sugar detox because I have a serious addiction problem especially with chocolate. First I enlisted my support group. I have a friend and my husband doing it with me. I am fairly confident that my husband only does it at home and who knows what he does behind my back. The dirty scoundrel. Anyway. Second, I waited til the holidays were long gone and all sugar was out of the house. Well not all because the kids still eat it and I couldn't just throw what I had left over away. Third, I started the diet cold turkey. I didn't actually mean to start, I just wanted to see what the withdrawals would be like but the first few days were a piece of cake so I decided to just go with it. Okay well nothing is going according to plan but at least I had a plan.

Exceptions: I do have a few exceptions to my diet. I can have one granola bar a day and I can have sugar with my breakfast foods because I don't know what to eat without oatmeal, cereal, muffins, etc.

Goals: I am not doing this to lose weight. My goal is to release myself from this obsessive addiction that I have with the cursed chocolate. I am hoping for an increase in energy and more a stable mood. I also would like to improve my ability to concentrate and improve memory capacity (I am not sure if sugar ever hindered that but I am hoping for it anyway).

Results as of today: It has now been about 10 days and it is VERY hard. I have read up on sugar withdrawals and it talks about depressions, severe fatigue, etc lasting for weeks. The fatigue started a week ago but I kind of just shrugged it off thinking it was just a tiring day. But it is getting progressively worse and I am finding myself stuck to the couch falling asleep while reading a book to my kids. I have never been so tired in my life and I am getting plenty of sleep every night. Last night was my first 'give up' night. I have had so much temptation to quit the last 10 days and have remained fully committed but last night I couldn't go anymore. I ate a whole bag of chocolate. I got my craving satisfied and have been back on full swing today despite the fatigue. As far as depression I think I might have skipped that. I think it has actually been the exact opposite. I have been feeling happier lately. I feel the sugar was getting me down and now I feel like things are brighter than before even though Brett lost his job and once again we can't pay rent!!! Well actually I was depressed at church on Sunday because I never get spiritually edified between my calling and taking care of a 2 and a 1 year old. And I was SUPER exhausted. But I think that is it. Actually I have also been depressed because NOTHING I eat satisfies my craving, it is always just there driving me to the fridge, the freezer, and the pantry over and over!

My theory: I believe that I have been getting my energy through sugar for so many years that my body is incapable of producing natural energy. Right now my body is figuring out how to do that and that is why I am so drained. I hope it figures it out very soon.

From here: Initially my plan was to go for two weeks but from what I read online it seems that I might need an extra week especially since I haven't completely eliminated all sugars 100%. That means I am halfway done. I like to think that I am at rock bottom these last two days and that it will only get better. We'll see.

Jada's first year...

Jada's statistics:
17 lbs 13 oz (7%)
30 3/4 inches (75%)
Our tall and super skinny little girl!

Jada is now on milk and table foods (sometimes she still gets baby foods for lunch because it is easier). She can walk but prefers to crawl or fall. She sleeps about 13 hours a night. She waves hi and bye, points at objects, recognize words I say, will feed herself all day, loves peek-a-boo, and LOVES teddy bears!!!!

Jada has been very happy this month and I am so thrilled! She has been smiling and laughing so much that even Riley is enjoying playing with her...some. Things are finally gelling here in our household!

Jada's next big obstacles are to get her over her separation anxiety, help her walk better, help her with speaking, and get her teeth fixed (her pediatrician thinks she is missing enamel on her upper teeth- ouch!!!)

Jada's big week...

This past week has been the most exciting week of Jada's life!

First and most important was that she was actually pretty happy. She smiled and laughed alot and it was real bizarre. I tried to enjoy it but everyday I was afraid it would go away.
2. She gained about one pound in one week.
3. She took her first steps (up to five)
4. She learned to wave bye-bye
5. Learned to sign "more" (it is not very good yet but she is definantly doing it)
6. Learned to sign "hooray"
7. Learned to clap her hands consistently
8. Started dancing (looks more like trying to jump)
9. She actually played by herself without ever crying during a twenty minute period
10. All the sudden she is interested in TV and will watch it for about 10 minutes time
11. Fully converted from breastfeeding to drinking from a sippy cup.
12. She learned how to give kisses!

This was an AWESOME week! I got alot of it on video but I am not going to bother trying to figure out how to upload it so you just have to take my word for it!

BTW- She is almost 11 and a half months. Here is her most recent professional picture. I tried to go for an athletic looking picture with the Nike shirt, tennis shoes, and ponytail. I love it!

Hawaii...

We packed up all our winter clothes and Christmas gifts and sent them home so that way we only had to haul two suitcases and so we wouldn't have to pay the "second luggage' fee for all our upcoming flights. I was significantly less stressed about this flight because I knew we had tons of family to help with the kids and that would keep them plenty stimulated. I sat in a row with my BIL, Bryce and he was a great help. For some reason, Jada was clingy to him (actually I know why- for seven hours he kept stuffing teddy grahams in her mouth. That is her seventh heaven.) Poor Bryce was a mess after the flight with reguritated, chewed up, and slimy bits of teddy grahams all over him.
So yeah, the flight was seven hours and it seemed like forever. But energy was high. I mean come on, we are going to Hawaii.

First part of our agenda was Oahu. We had a half day to relax and in the morning we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center. I had been there once before, four and a half years ago, and it was exactly the same. What was interesting is that when I went before our tour guide took us in reverse order through all the villages. This time our tour guide took us the regular way. So what I didn't get to see before I saw this time.

The canoe pageant

In New Zealand we all got tattoos. I went much more conservative and got one on my ankle but then I didn't take a shower for two days because I didn't want it to come off. I thought I looked cool with the tattoo.

After it was said and done we had to wait over an hour for our show to start. It was rough on the kids because it was already so late for them. This is truely a rare moment of Jada sleeping anywhere except for her bed.

At the same time, Riley walked on this circular retaining wall for about an hour with grandma. I would tickle him every time he passed, or I would try to scare him, or hide and he would stop to look for me. It was real fun but eventually we stopped due to rain and went in the gift store for another half hour or so. I sat in a chair with Riley the whole time and we sang songs or I tickled him. It was a real nice time for the two of us.

The next day we took an island hopper flight to Kauai. It was only thirty minutes and it was a sinch. The security in the airport was so different then on the mainland. I reminded me of what security was like pre-911 but I totally forgot about those days. After so many long flights, thirty mintutes was a walk in the park.

Kauai was beautiful and very remote. You are hard pressed to find a typical McDonalds or Walmart. They exist but they are hard to find. This island, though beautiful was actually difficult with young children because of the remoteness. The food was a little more difficult to come by. Supplies like diapers and wipes are harder to come by. Plus in a place like that you just want to relax and that, of course, is impossible.The Hawaii Grand Canyon


Most of the gang: Brett, me, the kids, Tasha, Bryce, Kathy, and Nik


Our beautiful condo on the beach


Me and the kids

Miles feeding Riley

We mainly just hung out the whole time in Kauaii. It rained alot and was a little chilly. I usually spent only a hour a day on the beach before either the kids had to have a nap, or had to be fed, or it started raining. Even still I got an itty bitty tan that I am very proud of.
Wait til you hear about our New Years plans! We were going to stay up all night and play Wii but as 10 pm came everyone wanted to go to bed (this or earlier was true every night) so we busted out the bubbly and just then fire works went off (I guess people from California were celebrating with their state). We had a beautiful fireworks display and then everyone went to bed. Brett and I played Wii for another hour and then decided this was the lamest New Years ever so we went to bed too. Brett's family is by NO MEANS party animals.
On our last day we had to be out by 10 am and our flight didn't leave til 9:30 pm so we checked out, rented scooters, and drove a waterfall that you could cliff jump into. It was about 30 feet high. I really wanted to do it but the trail getting there was so slippery and the rocks to the waterfall were even more dangerous. Brett's family is very helpful until everyone is busy and then I get stuck with the kids all by myself as was the case at the waterfall. Brett and his brothers went to jump the falls, Kathy was in the car watching Ben and Marie's kids, Tasha was unable to hold the kids because it was too dangerous, and Bob volunteered to hold Jada. That meant I had to hold Riley and some how video tape everyone else having fun. After they all jumped we had to quickly leave and I didn't get a turn. Plus by now, I was EATEN up by misquitos that I just wanted to leave anyway.
Our first leg of the trip home was from Kauaii to LA. That was a five hour flight. I luckily sat next to a women and her child and her child slept in her mom's lap so I asked if I could use their floor to put Jada down for a nap. They said yes and I was so happy I wanted to cry because she was able to sleep the whole way. But since I am incapible of relaxing I volunteered to help with Riley because Brett was having a very hard time getting him to sleep. It took me 45 minutes and once he was asleep I gave him back to Brett. I had to watch Jada afterall!!!! Riley only slept about an hour on this flight and now it was 2 am. We had a two hour lay over in LA and Riley was fussy. Since Brett and I took care of the kids the entire previous flight, his family was very willing to help with the short leg from LA to Salt Lake. Both Brett's bench and my bench only had two people in it so we pawned of the kiddies, laid down and slept the whole time, so did the kids- go figure!
In Salt Lake we said goodbye to Brett's family and headed out to begin our three hour layover. Brett's dad is some sort of Delta Platium Medallion member so he got us into this fancy room with a TV that we were able to wait in insteed of with all the peions in the terminal. That helped time fly by and helped us comfortably relax. The flight to Atlanta was very tough. We were all sooooo tired and the flight was booked solid. Of course, Riley slept the entire time on Brett's lap but Jada was very difficult. She cried alot and all I wanted to do was sleep. I tried walking the aisles but all I wanted to do was sleep. I am sure my parenting was sub par but all I wanted to do was sleep! I sat next to a grandmotherly figure (thank goodness) who didn't complain when Jada was kicking her or pulling at her shirt and I was half asleep. She even offered to hold her a few times and let me use her tray table to hold my caffinated soda.
22 hours since our first flight, we arrived in Atlanta. Brett says it was totally worth it. I say, we are staying put for a long time!

Christmas in Utah...

Brett's parents flew us out to Utah for Christmas this year and we were so excited to go. We did have several things to be nervous about like-
1. Flying out with two kids
2. Flying out with two sick kids and two sick adults
3. Packing for three very distinct events: winter in Utah, Christmas gifts, and warm sunny Hawaiian weather.
4. Getting everything out with three suitcases
This flight was the first time we decided not to drug the kids with Benedryll because we felt that in the past Riley has been more cranky than sleepy. Since I knew he would be awake alot I spent HOURS preparing for the flight. We bought a Video Ipod and downloaded several TV shows, packed Thomas train pieces, packed Play-doh and much much more. As stressed out as I was about Riley, I was even more stressed out about Jada. She was severely sick as the departure date approached and she already is hard enough to entertain. She is very mobile and hates being confined. Her entertainment level/attention span is 10 seconds. My back pack was loaded with things to do, all in an attempt to keep her quiet at least.
We got up bright and early, after a restless night for me, and began our 9 hour travel day. To my great relief, everything actually went pretty smoothly. The actual flight was four hours and I started off with Riley. I played with him and it was draining but he behaved very well. Jada slept the whole time with Brett. When Jada woke up, we switched as was previously decided (to switch half way through the flight). So I played with Jada the whole time and Riley immediately went to sleep with daddy. So though it was tiring, it was so much better than I expected. It was a GREAT trip for Brett!
Our first stop in Utah was Cafe Rio for our beloved Beef Salads. Unfortunately since I was so congested I could barely breathe, much less taste the food.
When I first got there, I had already been sick for nearly a week so I thought I would for sure feel better by Christmas and defiantly for Hawaii. Well that wasn't the case. I was so congested that I just bummed around the house the whole time. I tried to run on my inlaw's treadmill but it was pathetic. I ran about 12 minute miles. But I had to keep working out because I was going to Hawaii in a few days!!!!
By the end of the week, I was feeling well enough to visit some friends and family but I didn't get to visit even half of the people I wanted to. But I got to see my long time friend Robin and my uncle Dale.
Oh well, enough complaining!
Brett's mom and dad and sister and brother were so AWESOME at playing with the kids! I mean, seriously, they were always willing to help even without me asking! Brett's other brother, Ben and his wife Marie have two little ones about the same age and they came over everyday so the kids got to play so much. Plus Brett's sister, who we hardly ever see, drove down and stayed with us for several days. She has a son a little older than Riley and so it was nice for them to play too.
Some things that Riley did that I am so used to but my inlaws thought was cute...
1. Says 'sure' instead of yes
2. Says 'bless you' any time you sneeze OR cough
3. Says "thank you mommy" any time I do anything for him
4. Shares very well with others
5. Eats very well and isn't picky
6. Is obsessed with watching Blues Clues and playing with Thomas

Here are some pictures from our WHITE CHRISTMAS...

Jada in the snow looking so darn cute (and cold).



Riley opening his Thomas gift. He couldn't have been more happy!



Brett's parents wanted a grankids picture and went through the effort of buying matching outfits but it was IMPOSSIBLE to be everyone to hold still. IMPOSSIBLE. This isn't the best picture but it is so funny to me, so typical of Jada, my diva.


Our family photo Christmas Morning. Once again, Jada is crying.

For Hawaii info, stay posted...

The cutest thing...

I mean, seriously is this not the cutest thing?!!!!
How come I can NEVER capture pictures like this?

My incredibly biased opinions on President Obama...

I went to bed the night of the election knowing that Obama was going to win although I did not wait up for the official announcement. I had been expecting it for a couple weeks now. I usually listen to the news or the radio every hour of the day but the last two weeks I stopped caring. I never wanted McCain in the first place, he was my least favorite of the Republican candidates in the primary. I just couldn't get fired up over him (although when Palin was announced I did get excited for a few days until the media tore the poor girl apart). Despite that, I could NEVER vote or support Obama. I refused to jump on the annoying "CHANGE" bandwagon or the "HISTORY" bandwagon. I certainly, like everyone I know, want change but I don't want Obama's form of change. I am fundamentally opposed to everything about him. Everything he stands for. But I haven't found myself 'depressed' over his winning either. I worry about the future with Obama. I worry about gay marriage (which will be 'legalized' under his administration). I can't worry about abortion because it is already legal but I am sad to know that it will continue under this administration. I worry about his tax plan. And I really worry about his health care plan. I worry about his associations with TERRIBLE people. But I know one good thing will come out of this, at least it should. Racism should end. There is nothing to talk about. There is no repression or unequal rights. It is time to move on. Anyone can achieve what they want to irregardless of color. I hope he will motivate many of our African American citizens and I really hope he will put Jesse Jackson out of a job (and Al Sharpton) (oh and Jeremiah Wright).
I am so frustrated that McCain won the Republican nomination. No one I knew liked or supported him so how did he end up winning?!!! I just can't get over that. Oh, how I wish Mitt Romney would have won. All I can do at this point is wait four years and then hope Mitt Romney (or some other great conservative) will fix this mess. But honestly I hope it isn't a mess. I hope Obama surrounds himself with smart intuitive people unlike himself and his previous associations. Opps that was mean, I am sure Obama is smart but I don't feel that he always acts it and of course since I disagree with him, he must be the stupid one! LOL. But seriously I hope in four years I will look back on this blog and say "Man, I sure was wrong about him". Any chance of that happening?
The reason I didn't stay up all night to watch the official announcement of Obama being the next president is because I saw a clip of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid celebrating their majorities in the House and Senate and I did get depressed. They scare me. They are loons. True loons.
Sorry for the lack of facts in this blog, I just wanted to say what I wanted to say without much thought. That is why it is so scattered. Maybe I will edit this blog one day when I get some motivation again. I really just don't' care. I have never been so apathetic about politics in my life, except for every single day before I turned 23 when I didn't care. So I guess the correct statement would have been "I have never been so apathetic about politics in the last five years". Thanks alot, Bush!
Now that I have posted four blogs tonight, I must go to bed. Good night!